This is chapter thirteen. To view other chapters find the links below.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler and sadly never will. *cries in corner*
Title: Your Attachment
Rating: T / Pg-13
Summary: He needed me. As for myself? Well...I needed a lot of things. Too bad pretending to be a girl while also pretending to be Sebastian's girl friend weren't some of them.
Timeline: Actual universe. Also known as 21st century.
Warnings: Will eventually be yaoi! (Sorry mom.) sorry for OOCness. I won't try to have it that way, but since it is AU it will have to be slightly OOC. Also, I will place warnings on the chapters that have yaoi, so don't worry.
I was bait. I was just a tool for Ash to get a hold of Sebastian. But….why did he want Sebastian in the first place? My mind began to reel as I gritted my teeth, “Why do you want Sebastian?” My voice was hoarse as I spoke and Ash smirked towards me in return.
“Sebastian leads a secret past you have no clue about. I’m sure he hasn’t told you much about himself or his parents. Why do you think they want Sebastian marrying Elizabeth?” Ash crept closer towards my seller and gripped the bars as his smirk grew, “I guess when he comes for you you’ll have to ask him that, although the truth will hurt. Just the same pain he’ll feel once he finds out you’re a scam, too.”
I lunged myself at the seller bars and tried to grab Ash through them, but he pulled away before I could reach him, “I’ll kill you before Sebastian ever comes. Besides…” I paused and released a breath of air, “He wants nothing to do with me anymore.”
“The truth will surprise you, brat.”
I didn’t retort to him any longer; just sat there as he backed away and laughed to himself walking away. I felt so empty right now. If there was something Sebastian was hiding from me, what could it be? My brain hurt from thinking so much. I sat back down into the muddy water and buried my head into my knees. I was too exhausted to think about it any longer. I only wanted to crawl into bed and sleep. Although as time went on and silence filled the room, I drifted off to sleep without the aid of my soft bed to lull me.
I woke up to the sound of the seller door squeaking. I jumped once I noticed it wasn’t Ash. Shit, it was worse than that, it was Alois.
“What the hell are you doing here? How did you get- mnf” Alois slapped his hand over my mouth and began to whisper.
“Shh, don’t be loud or else he’ll hear us. I’m going to get you out of here, but we need to be as quiet as we can possibly be. My dad doesn’t know I am here, so he is probably worried sick, but once that guy took you I couldn’t just sit there.” Alois bit his lip, “I mean, you kissed me and well….it meant something to me even if it meant nothing to you.”
I looked straight into Alois’ eyes and felt sorrow. It was my stupid fault that I kissed him, so I couldn’t just stand here and ignore the guy. I sighed as I stood up and grabbed his hand, “let’s go.” He nodded as we both slipped through the seller and tip-toed through the exit.
We began to head down narrow halls. They were all the same looking, dark and wet with mud caked along the ground, “Alois, do you remember which direction you came in.”
“I can’t remember. They all look the same now.” He began to turn and look down each hall, but the confused look on his face told me we were both screwed.
“Where do you two rats think you’re going?” Both I and Alois froze instantly as a shadow crossed the narrow hall with a lamp in his hands. His blonde hair glowed brightly along with his sinister eyes.
“I should have known you’d try to escape.” Ash approached us as Alois grabbed my shoulders and stepped backwards, although his attempt to protect me failed once Ash pushed Alois like before. He gritted his teeth in anger and grabbed a fist full of my hair, “why don’t you be useful and act like a piece of meat already!” Ash tore off the apron that hung loosely around my waist and pulled my chin up to face him, “I’m sure there are many ways to draw Sebastian in.”
Alois must have lost consciousness by the way he laid on the ground. I noticed as Ash pulled me away that Alois’ head was slightly bleeding. Damnit….this was my entire fault. I hissed as we left the hall silently hoping that Alois was alright.
After we walked for a while, Ash sat me down in a chair that was placed in a much larger room. I guessed that this place was located underground somewhere. This was likely Ash’s home by the way he knew the location. The room I was in currently must have been a dining hall. There was a huge table to my left and small chairs decorated around the room. The one Ash sat me in was bigger than all the rest though and I watched as he found roped and began to tie my hands up.
I decided to not even struggle against him anymore. There was no point in wasting more energy on this man. I had to wait, but as much as I didn’t want Sebastian showing up, I knew now that he was the only one that was going to save me. I contemplated on whether I was even worth it anymore? Why should I deserve such kindness when I was such an inconvenience to everyone? How many people were stepped on for Ash to acquire me? It didn’t seem right. I wanted this all to end in peace. I didn’t want anyone else to get hurt because of me.
Finally he had my hands tied behind my back and I glared daggers at him. This was plain ridiculous. One moment I am waiting tables in a café and the next I am tied up like a damsel in distress.
“Where are we?” I asked because I still wasn’t sure.
“My underground laboratory of course.” Ash threw his hands up over his head and looked to me with his disgusting face. I cringed and looked away. So if Ash had a lab then he must be doing experiments of some sort. Although what could that be? What would he be trying to gain? Also, what does Sebastian have to do with it?
That was when it happened. The moment I was waiting for. Ash was attacked from above by a shadow and was sent flying backwards into a wall. The dim candle lights in the room flickered ominously.
“Sebastian!” I cried out to him as I struggled to get my hands free. If you can imagine with me for a moment: Here I was still dressed like a women in a torn dirty maid’s outfit. Except the apron is missing and all that is left is the pink shirt that hid under the apron. My wig had fallen off somewhere a long time ago and so my short silver blue hair was showing in all its dirty glory.
Apparently I looked like crap by the way Sebastian looked at me. I was covered in mud and water and my arms felt bruised along with my chin and cheeks. Sebastian however was dressed in a black dress shirt and slacks. It looked as if he was ready for a dinner date with the president.
“You sure pissed him off.” Sebastian said as he turned towards Ash. Of course right as he said that Ash lunged at him and tackled him to the ground.
I kept quiet because deep down I knew Sebastian could handle this. He always did and I had no fear that this time was any different.
My heart fell in my stomach once Ash punched Sebastian square in the face. I could hear his nose break along with other bones in his face. My eyes clinched shut as Sebastian hit the floor and Ash began to laugh maliciously.
“Sebastian, glad you came. Want a glass of wine?” Ash walked to his round table and poured a glass for himself and one for Sebastian, “Guess you want your little pet back huh? Well, maybe you’d like to know something about your little pet first.”
Once he said that I felt like throwing up. I knew exactly what he was going to do next and I had to escape, I had to stop him. I pulled my hands as hard as I could, praying and pleading to get free. Even if that meant losing my hands. My struggle was in vain because Ash reached me and yanked my hair back so my head was facing Sebastian.
Sebastian slowly stood onto his feet and wiped the blood from his nose and mouth. Saying he looked pissed was an understatement. In fact, his eyes looked practically red if my vision was correct.
“Se-Sebastian, ignore him. Just go..” My voice was low, but stern, but Sebastian didn’t move. He remained the same.
“Let her go!” He snapped as he took another step closer.
Apart of my shirt was torn off and thrown to the side. Ash pulled me from the chair and began to rip even more of my clothes. I felt my legs begin to tremble with fear. Shit. This was not a situation I wanted to be in and I couldn’t keep my knees from shaking. I was almost willing to say I was scared.
“Stop!” Sebastian began to run at Ash, and he picked up a staff laying under the table then quickly swung it at him in defense.
“Why don’t you wait, Sebastian? I won’t hurt your precious toy.” Ash cupped my cheek and in one pull tore the rest of my shirt off. The skirt of the outfit was only left and the padding under the shirt fell onto the floor. I quickly covered my chest as I gritted my teeth and clinched my eyes shut. He must know by now….he must know I am a fake. How could he not know? That stupid lie about Keyon being related to me. He had to have known! He wasn’t that stupid, was he?
Before I knew what was happening, the last piece of clothing I was wearing was torn from my body and I felt like every string of protection was taken from me. I was suddenly tossed onto the ground forcefully, but I didn’t feel any pain as my head hit the floor. I felt empty…I felt….lifeless.
“See what he really is?” Ash laughed as he got down towards my level and spoke into my ear, “A fake. A lie. A man…”
I kept my eyes closed as he spoke venom into my ears. I didn’t want to hear what Sebastian had to say next. There was nothing else for him to say.
There were a few moments of silent before I opened my eyes and saw something that you could only believe in a fairytale. Sebastian’s eyes were glowing red and claws expanded from the tips of his fingers. I gasped as I stood onto my feet. The rope tying my hands together was tight, but it didn’t keep me from moving. I began to run towards one of the narrow hall ways, but stopped once I heard Ash cry out.
The irises in my eyes grew once they gazed onto Sebastian and his wings that spread out across his back. What was he? My heart was beating so fast that I could no longer tell if I was breathing or not. I couldn’t feel my feet or my hands and the pain from earlier vanished in an instant.
“S-Sebastian….” I hardly could recall speaking his name, but the insane picture in front of me left me paralyzed and I wasn’t sure if it was fear or excitement.
There weren’t any words spoken from Sebastian’s mouth. His whole figure turned into something that I wouldn’t call human. The words came into my brain once again asking me what he was. Who was Sebastian really?
Ash began to scream as Sebastian approached him. He lunched at him, but it was futile because Sebastian’s wings protected him. Quickly Sebastian was on him like a jaguar. His movements were incredible. Although Ash’s screams became worse and I turned away. I didn’t show an expression on my face as I heard the crunching of bones and other body parts. I began to walk which soon became a run.
I ran down the hall way filled with darkness until my lungs gave out. Where was I even going? I paused and set my hand against the wall for support as I tried to catch my breath. I needed to find clothes….I needed to get out of here. I no longer wanted to be here. I wanted to escape this hell already and go back home where my home isn’t really a home after all.
I felt alone.
I felt disposed. Exposed….empty. Sebastian knew the truth now, so it wasn’t like I could face him after all of that.
“Ciel?” I jumped once a hand fell on my shoulder, although I noticed that voice clearly.
“Alois, is that you? Are you okay?” My voice sounded more concerned than I would have liked to let out, but a huge part of me was relieved he was alright.
“Yea, I am fine….shit…Ciel, where are your clothes? Wait…did that man…he didn’t touch you did h-“
I placed my hand over Alois’ mouth, “Shhh, we’re going to get out of here, but you have to be quiet or they will find us. Don’t worry about me, I’m just fine.”
Alois pulled my hand from his mouth, “I know the way out now. I found it while I was searching for you.” Suddenly Alois took my hand and began to run.
“Wait, Alois, I need some clothes.” I whispered while we ran. He sighed as he stopped and began to take off his shirt, “this will work temporarily. It should cover the special parts anyway. I’ll just leave my shorts on, so it will be fine.”
I stared into Alois’ eyes and then something stupid came over me. Something that Ciel Phantomhive wouldn’t like to admit, but since I was a little light headed and we were in the dark, I guess it didn’t matter. No one saw anything….
..I hugged Alois. With both arms and everything. Alois gasped lightly and I quickly pulled away, “Err…thanks for helping me….I guess that is what friends do. They hug, right?”
Alois laughed out loud and I slapped him in the arm, “Hey you have to be quiet!”
Alois took my hand again and from the dim candle light in the hall I could see him stick out his tongue, “You’re a cutie.” Then we began to run again.
I never looked back for Sebastian. I didn’t have to ability to. I must have completely destroyed the last glimmer of hope with him. My chest was exposed and along with that the truth and lies. I was the biggest fraud. Sebastian knew that now. I was terrified of ever seeing him again because if that was his true form…..t-that thing with wings, then I was scared of what he would do to me once he was able to wrap his fingers around my neck.
We didn’t run for too much longer before we found an exit. Apparently we were underground by the way we had to climb up a steep to see sunlight again. It was out in a forest area with a bunch of trees. Alois helped me up and we both began to walk through the grass, “Where are we?” I asked as my eyes looked all around.
“We’re not too far from town actually. I took Claude’s car to get here, so hopefully it is still there.”
Alois didn’t release my hand as we once again ran. My lungs were burning from the stress on them, “Alois….h-hold on.” I paused and placed my hands on my knees, “I can’t breathe.”
Alois turned his back to be and nudged my side, “Hop on, I’ll carry you.”
“Are you insane?” I asked as I continued to gasp for air.
“Just do it, Ciel. I have the strength and we have no time to lose. Do you want that thing coming after us? Lord knows what it will do to us.”
I stared for a while longer and sneered as I jumped onto his back. He had a point and I was too exhausted to go further.
We continued a little more ways until we reached Claude’s car. I felt like we were finally far enough from that place to be safe.
Once I was in the car, I shut my eyes and let a deep sigh out. A shower sounded pleasant; anything to get my mind of today’s events. Alois drove home without saying much of anything. He looked completely beat up. His lips were raw and the color in his eyes was dull. I also noticed his head wound and frowned.
“Alois, whenever we get to my place let me patch you up. It’s the least I could do.” I felt bad for him. After all if it wasn’t for him I probably would have been killed back there. Alois gave me a short nod.
I couldn’t help but wonder what happened to Sebastian? I had no idea if he escaped death back there and it was really terrible because I actually was worried and scared. Why would Sebastian come for me? If he knew I was a girl and still chose that Elizabeth over me then obviously he didn’t like me that much…..unless he wasn’t done using me? Or maybe he wanted to eat me? He wasn’t human apparently. I guess I could have been a tasty snack.
I let my eyes roll in the back of my head and relaxed. That was enough thinking for a day.
We reached my house and Alois stepped out and ran around the other side to help me. I didn’t realize just how sore I was until now.
“Ciel, your face is completely white. Are you okay?”
I stared for a moment and felt my cheeks. I was really warm, “I don’t know. I just want to shower.”
We walked up the steps into my place. The first thing I did when I stepped inside was run into the bathroom. Alois followed me and confused for a moment, I didn’t stop him.
He helped me take off my clothes and then helped me into the shower. I didn’t even notice him take his own clothes off and jump in there with me, too. His face was completely serious. I had never seen him act this way before. Maybe he was hit harder than I thought. Maybe I was, too, because how was I this okay with him showering with me?
He leaned closer towards me and wrapped him arms around my wet body, “You’re shaking. Are you…okay?”
I hadn’t even noticed. The warm water felt like heaven on my skin. It was as if the stress was being pulled from every limb. I didn’t care he was touching me. I rather him not leave me alone right now anyway.
“I don’t know.”
Alois kissed my neck, “Please just….let me take care of you, Ciel.”
I remained still and let my eyes slip shut, “Alois.”
“Ciel, shhh, if you weren’t so bulletproof maybe you could actually feel love for the ones who truly love you. Don’t push me away like you always do.”
“This isn’t right.”
Alois swept his fingers gently across my cheek. The hot water poured over both of us and I studied his crystal eyes carefully, “Ciel, you’re my idea of perfect. But you carry yourself like a stone.” He squeezed his eyes shut, “just stop it already. I can be here for you.” The pad of his thumb pressed against my bottom lip and without warning he captured it in a desperate kiss.
I didn’t fight him, but I also didn’t respond. He tried to pry his way in, but I refused. He finally pulled away and sadness crept into his features. “Why do you reject me? Am I not good enough?”
What could I say to him? I didn’t want to be with him out of guilt, I knew it wasn’t right. I quickly jumped out of the shower and grabbed a towel sprinting to my room. My slippery feet slipped across the room and I immediately found myself laying on the floor with my towel draped over me.
“Ciel, are you okay?” Alois stood over me dripping wet, “Maybe I should just leave. Apparently I’m making you uncomfortable.”
Before I could respond back to him, he was slipping his dirty clothes back on him. He was drenched in water still and his face was stoic. I had nothing left to say to him. I still lay naked and wet on the floor. The shower was running in the background and Alois didn’t give me a last glance as he headed towards my door, “Look….maybe I am not what you expected, but Ciel, if there was ever a person to take care of you until death, then that person is me.” His eyes stayed far away from mine and his hands opened the door slowly, “Thanks for patching me up. Have a nice life.” Then he vanished.
I had nothing to say. I simply laid here naked on the floor.
oh dear god-goddess-gods-floaty boat you updated. of course we still like it! I love how you portray Alois, while reading this he still gives me an uneasy feeling, like he could snap at any moment, as though he's in a lot of pain deep down, and he still has that weird edgy humor and flirtatious-ness that he did in the anime, but you manage to add in this sweet and gentle side this is simply adorable! I want to give him a hug >.< I'm not sure how to work out the sebby-is-a-demon bit, but I'm sure it'll all work out in future chapters, a good author can always fool their readers!
Anyways, I'm so happy to hear you will be continuing this story and writing other ones as well, you;re very skilled and I enjoy your work immensely X3 (you may recall me commenting on chapter twelve and then not replying to your reply... sorry about that, I'm just shit at replying to be honest)
The moment I laid eyes on the title, I swear, I started crying on the inside. I remember following all of the chapters from when you first started, so a little part of me reverted back to the little girl who oh-so adored this fic because it was one of my first and was most definitely one of my favorite. I never forgot it, not for a second after all this time.