This is chapter twelve. To view other chapters find the links below.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler and sadly never will. *cries in corner*
Title: Your Attachment
Rating: T / Pg-13
Summary: He needed me. As for myself? Well...I needed a lot of things. Too bad pretending to be a girl while also pretending to be Sebastian's girl friend weren't some of them.
Timeline: Actual universe. Also known as 21st century.
Warnings: Will eventually be yaoi! (Sorry mom.) sorry for OOCness. I won't try to have it that way, but since it is AU it will have to be slightly OOC. Also, I will place warnings on the chapters that have yaoi, so don't worry. This chapter is yaoi free! 8D
Dear gods, the fire place was warm. I sat as close as I could until I felt my skin begin to itch. I could hear Alois off in the background humming some familiar tune as he made hot chocolate, but my mind was far gone. It hurt to think, it hurt to breathe.
I clinched my chest and coughed without the help of my hand. I cleared my throat and looked into the flickering flames.
I gasped once earlier hit me. The note…
I realized I no longer had my hoodie on and burst up onto my feet as I searched franticly for it. I found it lying near the front door all wet and muddy.
Carefully I picked it up and reached into the pockets to find what I was looking for. My heart leaped like a rabbit in my chest once I found it. My eyes gazed harshly at the note like my life depended on it. What exactly was in it? What was it going to say?
I narrowed my eyes and walked back over toward the couch sitting down. I was wearing only a long white T-shirt with some socks on my feet. It felt like I was in a dream right now, but if this was a dream then it felt real. I bit my lower lip and opened the note. It didn't matter what I thought this felt like, reality is reality and this note will prove that to me.
I began to read the words and the more I read the faster my heart sped. I didn't even finish the note as I stood up, crumpling the damp sheet of paper and tossing it into the fire. "Damnit!" I hissed as I sat down onto the couch and burying my head into my knees. What the hell was Sebastian doing? Why do I feel my eyes burning as tears come into my eyes? He is an asshole! The fire only roared louder as it ate away the note…
The words of the note echoed in my head. It was a stupid wedding invitation for him and Elizabeth! Why would he give that to me? Does he like to see me hurt? Why the hell should I care what he does anymore? It isn't my life and he can do whatever he wants with it, even if that means marrying an airheaded girl like Lizzy.
"Ciel….? Ciel? Oh sweet, Ciel, I brought you some hot chocolate, chin up." Alois got onto his knees in front of me and sat the hot chocolate on the coffee table, "Don't be sad."
I looked up and met his cerulean eyes. He looked sympathetic and it made me wonder. Why does Alois always try for me when I snap at him in return? That is all I have ever done to the guy and yet he always returns giving me his warm heart. I let out a deep breath. Well, that was something Sebastian never could do. It didn't matter how hard I tried, Sebastian would continue to play games with my heart and the more I thought about it the more I began to wonder if that is all it ever was with him. A silly game!
Alois reached out and touched my cheek. I froze in shock and watched him carefully. Alois was the weirdest guy to ever step into my life and yet he has been the only thing keeping me from destroying myself. Was he really just my friend….or perhaps something a bit more? The way he touched my cheek burned, but that was probably more tears bubbling up in my irises.
"Ciel, please don't cry, you're safe now, I am here." He smiled and picked up the mug of hot chocolate. Before he could bring it to my mouth I let my curiosity soar. I wasn't sure what would happen when I did this, but I let every guard and every protection fall and decided to consider this a test or maybe just a game move to see just how my actions would affect me. If this was only a game, then this was my next move and Sebastian would have to know just how it felt to be played with. The one thing I didn't see coming was using myself as the next game move.
I kissed him. I kissed Alois.
It wasn't like I knew what I was doing, but this would explain a lot right?
The mug fell from Alois' hand and shattered onto the floor. It startled me and I pulled away quickly. Alois looked at me like he saw a ghost. I scooted back onto the couch and turned my face away, "It was only a test to see something."
Alois stood up and backed away, "Y-you kissed me, Ciel?"
I looked up at him, "I know I did and I am sorry, but….I felt nothing….you're not that person to me."
There was silence and I knew that things got serious. Alois was being serious now, he was no longer joking around or making stupid comments. Did I hurt him? Why did his expression look like that?
"I'm going." I said that as I searched for my pants, but I couldn't find them. I sighed, "Alois..?"
"They're in the washer, I'll get you a pair of mine." His voice was sullen as he walked away. I didn't know what he wanted me to say? Did Alois actually like me or was he bored?
"Here you are." He handed me a pair of jeans and I slipped them on in silence. The fire was dying now and the mood between up both was harsh.
"Ciel, I don't understand your life very well. I don't understand how you work or why you work the way you do, but I can tell you one thing straight." Alois came up to me and took and a hold of my shoulders looking me dead in the eye, "I love you more than that other guy will ever love you and so….you should stop considering him and chasing him because here I am right in front of you."
He didn't know. Alois had no idea what I did to Sebastian, so it wasn't like I deserved to have him love me back. I could continue to tell myself Sebastian was a balloon in the air and that everything he did meant nothing, but the problem is, it did mean something when he kissed me and now him and Elizabeth are truly getting married. What can I do now?
"Alois, I have to go." I left my jacket and headed out the front door. He tried to stop me, but I ignored him. I couldn't tell Alois anything else, it wasn't like anyone could understand. Besides, Sebastian thought I was a girl after all.
I reached my lonely house after grabbing a taxi. I was still freezing cold and decided to take a warm shower. I didn't want to think about Sebastian anymore or Alois either. That kiss meant nothing, it was silly and fake.
I guess the only regret I have is that by kissing Alois I might have hurt him just like Sebastian hurt me, but Alois would understand…we were friends, right?
I let the hot steaming water run down my back and sighed. It felt so good, it felt like heaven.
I sat in a jumper and white tee. I was running out of clothes and needed to quit being lazy and wash them. The ability to move was dead to me and I felt like taking a nap. I glanced over at the clock and sighed. It was already 2 PM and my day was rotting away. I needed to go back to working at the café, but being around Alois didn't sound like a good idea at the moment.
I guess it didn't matter what I felt, I needed to move and stop sulking like some heartbroken girl. I stood onto my feet and yawned with a long stretch. This had to stop! I am Ciel Phantomhive and no matter what happens I am not going to let that…that guy get to my head.
I sighed as I grabbed my jacket and boots and headed out the door. No more thinking so deeply about everything, it was time to let my thoughts go.
Once I reached the café I got the craziest look from Claude. I tried not to look at him in the face, not exactly sure what Alois told him, "Ciel….surprised to see you here."
I walked past him and towards the back, "I decided to come in today, thought you might need some help."
"Uh huh, well go get dressed, there is an outfit for you to wear back there. Hurry up."
I rolled my eyes scoffing as I did what he said. It wasn't like I wanted to be here either, but I decided it was best I was here letting my mind reel then at home where I am alone and free to let my mind make the actions for myself.
I sighed as I put on the maid outfit. Claude made new outfits with new colors. It was soft pink and white with more lace than the last outfit. It crisscrossed in the back and had white tights that ended above the knee. I rolled my eyes trying to ignore all the colorful words I wanted to shout of Claude. He really did have a sick mind….or either that, he wanted to get back at me.
I 'pranced' out into the café looking as girly as they came. My wig was back on and my dress fit me perfectly and hugged every non-existent curve of my body. Pfft, it almost made me look like I had curves, but Claude was just that magical.
Sighing, I began to do what I was best at…and no, for all of your jerks out there it was certainly not falling on my ass. It was serving tables.
"Table 3, here I come." I said to myself as I walked carefully out to said table with drinks and baby cakes.
The day was beginning to go by rather quickly. Claude didn't snap at me and Alois didn't give me even a sliver of an eye. It was official. I pissed Alois off.
The sun was about to set as I served yet another table. My tips today were higher than usual making me assume this outfit was doing the work for me.
"Ciel, table 9 needs your assistance." Claude nodded his head towards the table and I puffed my cheeks, "I got it already, sheesh."
I walked up to the table ready to take his order with a fake smile and all my glory, "Can I help you today, sir?"
"Ciel, ah glad to see you." I blinked and stepped back. Oh great, not this guy again. He was that one guy who kidnapped me.
"Ash..?" I took yet another step back, but obviously it wasn't far enough back by the way he yanked on my arm bring me forward, "We need to talk….it is about Sebastian."
This sparked curiosity in me, "Sebastian? What about him?"
Ash grabbed his napkin and fluffed it as he placed it over his lap carefully, "Ya'know, you're the one he really wants. He was thinking you were going to fight for him back there, but I guess not. Although…" His smirk was as devious as the devil himself, "I was thinking that I could fix that for you."
I raised a brow, "And you really think I am going to take advice from an asshole like you?" I crossed my arms and snorted, "As if."
My apron was yanked down and my face became level with his, "Listen you little brat, you better take my help or else I am-"
I slapped his hand away and backed up. My brows were knotted and I gritted my teeth, "Don't act so tough, Ash. You're as sly as they come and I'm not an idiot. I don't care about Sebastian anymore anyway."
My eyes went wide and my cheek burned as if it were on fire. Customers in the restaurant gasped and I heard Alois coming my way as I stumbled back a few feet. Did that jerk just slap me? I glared at him and his amethyst eyes.
"Hey, what is going on here?" Alois grabbed my shoulders while I touched my cheek. That was when Ash stood up throwing his chair across the café. He approached me and pushed Alois back making him fall into the table behind him.
"You think you're stronger than me, brat? We'll see about that." His eyes became as dark as the sky and his features were deranged. I felt his fist plunge into my gut and my breath was gone in an instant. I tried to keep my eyes open, but it was futile….sleep was demanded….
The smell was horrid….like acid and blood. My eyes were beginning to open, but it was still very dark. Where was I? Everything hurt, especially my head. I couldn't breathe and the air was mucky and thick.
I coughed and coughed as I opened my eyes. There was a faint light off in the distant, but that was the only light that was provided. Where was I? The last thing I could remember was being…..being….punch in the gut. I had lost my breath and my consciousness.
I was placed in some type of cellar, probably underground. This must have been where Ash lived. Why did he want me anyway? I felt lost and confused. Was anyone trying to find me?
My maid outfit was still on and I wondered how long I had been knocked out for? I was alone and pissed off. My hands gripped the bar that kept me from being free, "Ash, you bastard! Come and face me you coward!"
It probably wasn't smart to advocate the man who was trying to kill me, but Ciel Phantomhive doesn't use his brain and common sense as much as he probably should.
That was when I heard laughing and footsteps approaching. I backed up a foot or two and waited. Soon I saw hands grip the bars on the other side and a face with an ugly smirk appear, "looks like I caught a bug in my web."
I gathered saliva in my mouth and spit in his face. I heard him hiss and I narrowed my eyes, "Fuck you."
"Why you little brat! I am going to tear you into a million pieces and have you begging for me to stop! You're going to wish you were never born and once you're crying for your mommy that is when I am going to devour you whole!"
I burst out laughing, trying to control myself, "You're for real? Wow…..what a true man you are; picking on a kid who works at a café. How brave and manly of you."
He growled louder and gripped the bar like his life depended on it.
"What do you want with me anyway?" I slid down the back of the cellar walls, sitting in forgotten water and muck, "I mean, you have to want me for something, right? So what is it? Money? Sorry to disappoint you, but I am as poor as a mouse. If you want me for my body, you're just wasting your time and if you want me because of my boss, well, he isn't worth much either, so your effort is meaningless."
That was when it was his turn to laugh. It was loud and obnoxious with the most bitter sound to ever exist in all of humanity, "No you silly child, I want you to get to him….to get to Sebastian.."
these are simply my
opinions and are not
meant to imply that
you should agree or
disagree nor should
these prove to be
offensive in any
way; if I do come
then you have my
Magepresented by the
This article came
about after a
requested that we
write ten clear,
simple tips for
information can be
very useful, but
it down into
chunks is so much
easier. So without
further ado plea...
This feature is for
all the happy
couples in the
world, the love
shared in families,
and for the good
friends.What I see
in these pictures..
The love, the
tenderness.. This is
what I search for. I
really hope I will
find someone like
you already did.Look
upon the sunand
think of that...
`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More