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I posted this on my livejournal and decided to post it here for everyone to understand.  I won't keep this up probably. Just a note I wanted people to read.



Yes, I'm gay

By Sasurealian
 


-




I am pretty sure no one reads these stupid journals, but now I'm not so sure.  See, I like to rant a lot and apparently that gets me into trouble.  I dunno who all is reading this, but I am going to make something very clear in these journals.  If you don't like me then don't read these.  Same thing goes for those who want to send me to hell.  It offends me like NO OTHER when people judge me.  I've decided to post this journal as a way for people to get inside my head.  I'll likely keep this journal active for a week before I remove it, so read it now before it is gone.

First off, I want people to try and understand me.  I am lesbian.  Okay, I get that makes a lot of you mad, heck it makes me mad, too.  I kind of wish I thought guys were the number one things in our world today because then I would be considered a good kid and not be called a mistake.  

What bothers me the most is all the fights I have had with my mom.  I mean, as I write this I'm trying not to cry because last year I got so depressed I wanted to die.  I didn't care that I was slowly killing myself because I hated life.  I am afraid to leave my house without my family wanting to see me because if I get that level of depressed again I don't know what I'll do.  I mean, I am a Christian and I believe that gay people deserve a life like everyone else.  I get TERIFIED that gay people might roast in hell, but I pray and pray and pray and I don't feel like God is telling me to be straight.  I think that God wants me to be happy and I think that as long as I love him and respect my gay relationship then he will love me no matter what.

Another thing that pisses me off is when people start speaking for God.  You're not God so stop telling me what He thinks.  I pray to God everyday and talk to Him about my feelings.  I KNOW He loves me and that He is here for me.  I won't stop believing in Him because people yell at me and tell me I am going to hell.

In fact last year I went through SOO much pain trying to figure out what to do.  The results were me trying to be straight.  I almost dated like 5 guys, but every time it got to the point for me to get into a relationship I got depressed and stopped.  I don't like guys that way.  I don't like the way they are.  I mean, sure I think a lot of them are amazing, but not as a relationship/romantic way.

I have heard it all.  Like how two women can't support a family and how they'll be looked down upon, how it isn't how God intended.  But I think that it doesn't matter who you love as you go through this life, because as long as you love God while loving someone else it shouldn't matter.  My whole life I have grown up believing in God and learning about him, but in alllll those years I never once thought God could hate someone who loved the same sex.

Now, here is something even more important to understand.  If you're straight and you like the penis (girls out there) good for you.  One thing you need to understand is that you'll NEVER understand a gay person.  Same as we never will understand you straight people.  I mean, we accept you and we love you and that isn't an issue for us because we got the hell over it.  I don't wanna force myself to be straight just because people want me to.

A lot of people want to blame the fact that I am gay on anime, but I never liked guys before I started watching anime.  I think it made me realize I liked girls, but I don't think that I would have liked guys no matter if I got into cosplay/anime ect.  I know a lot will argue that point, but you're not me, so don't tell me how I feel.

I just want to say to all you out there who don't like me for being gay that I'm sorry.  I mean, I hate myself and CRY all the DAMN time because of this.  I am always scared I am always worried and I shouldn't have to live a life where I am scared.  I mean, would you all rather me be dead right now?  'Cause it doesn't seem so scary when you're that sad in life.  It is hard to fix myself because let me try and explain this to you.  You can try and place me in therapy (had that happen before) and you can try and take away anime/cosplay and ect (happened already, too) and you can yell at me every day for months (once again check) and you can place me in special schools and take me to church (bingo) but it will not change me!  I hate it that people don't take a step back and understand me!

I am sick of crying and being depressed!  I am sick of everyone thinking I don't deserve to live and don't deserve to love.  I know people tell me to go through life single, but what makes you think I want to be alone?  I am just as human as you are.  If you were in my shoes what would you do?  Just think for a second.  You're not in my shoes and you like the penis (girls out there) and so you cannot understand me.  I can be Christian and love a girl.  I can't see what is so wrong!

One of the worst parts about this whole 'disease' is that when I look at a girl I can admire them.  Apparently to you it is wrong.  Kinda like how a girl looks at a guy.  I mean, I want to find a girl who is nice and has awesome qualities.  Pretty girls are pretty. I think they're nice to talk with, dance with, get to know.  I mean, what the heck?!  I don't find it strange.  I am scared as shit when I get near one I like because EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT of how being gay is going to send me to hell runs through my head, but it doesn't feel wrong to me.  My bad!

I think haters are going to hate.  I think that people like 'that' are never going to change.  I can't make you like me and I can't make you understand me.  I keep trying to paint a canvas for you to see, but all you can do is burn it to the ground before you ever take a single glance at it.

My mom will probably never want to see me again and that does hurt.  I have a lot of siblings and I was home schooled.  I am a Christian and I am a gentle person.  To have to leave my family does shatter me and I know my mom will say it was your choice and you should have chosen better, but then she doesn't realize I tried to make her happy for so long.  I wanted to like a guy, but it NEVER works.  I don't know why.  I hate hate hate myself.  I would gladly kill myself if it didn't seem like such a big deal.  I mean, I don't know what to do anymore.  I am on my last leg and I know my mom has given up, too because she can't understand.  A part of me wants to just tell her I am sorry and walk away because I do kinda feel for her.  I mean, her kid is gay and that sucks because she hates (or so she says hates what they do) gay people.  I can't change her opinion of them, but I wish she would love me no matter what I was.

She thinks she has a clear picture of gay people, but she doesn't because she isn't gay and so therefore she can't understand.  There are SOO many gay Christians out there who never come out of the closet and that's because like me they're afraid for their lives.  I wish all the hate would stop!  I can understand the gay community and why they're sad and why it sucks.  I get it because I can see through their eyes.  

There isn't much I can do to make this all better, but I want everyone to know that gay people aren't out there to sicken you out.  They're not out there to make a scene or to make you feel bad for them.  They're just like everyone else and the ONLY thing that sets them apart is they like the same fucking sex!  I mean, honestly!  That is it! Yea, it is a bit weird, I know.  I mean pssh I don't like penis.  I know I am a horrible person, I get it.  I know.  But none of you will ever take the time to understand that it isn't that big of a deal.

I can tell you ALL the bible verses that say it is wrong, but then again, I can tell you a TON that make it right.  I have my reasons and you homophobes will have yours.  I am sorry!  That being said, please get over it because if you don't then many people are not only going to live sad depressing lives, either that or they're going to commit suicide, too.

The hate needs to stop and you can help.  That is all I am trying to say.  Try and understand the gay community and maybe this world wouldn't be so sad as it is today.

If God had wanted me otherwise he would have created me otherwise.  Why would God have created me this way?  Why was I the kid who had to like girls?  Why was I the kid who had to be 'weird' why was I the kid who had to have parents who wanted NOTHING to do with me.  I don't know, but I can't handle it anymore.



I am going to regret posting this probably. Oh well. I'll likely remove it here in the next few days. Dx

I just...I wrote this this morning and I had to post it because I am so sick of all the hate.

Add a Comment:
 
:iconhappylilly:
HappyLilly Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey listen, I feel for you. I'm in the process of figuring out who I am, and a part of me thinks that I too, am a lesbian. Don't ever feel alone, because I've been there too, only to figure out that I have amazing people in my life to help me out of the hole I'd dug for myself. Just keep trying. I did. And I'm happy that I didn't give up.
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Awww ^^  Thank you.  Well after all this time I am happy I didn't cause I am really happy now =D
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:icondarennysmith:
Darennysmith Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013
Hey! As for me, you can keep being whatever you want (except a teletubby, i hate teletubbies). You were always nice and i'll always be nice with you! /hugs
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Aww why thank you ;^; I am so glad!
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:iconminiisparkles:
MiniiSparkles Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
How is being lesbian make us mad? I know I am only one person out of a trillion who thinks that it's wrong to judge and hate someone solely because they're gay, or just hating in general and I know A LOT of people do to, but seriously? I hope that society will soon learn to accept people for who they are and not because they don't fit the normal, typical, fucking shit of what THEY THINK is right. This is seriously one of my petpieves, simple minded people who can't accept fucking jack shit, and I feel really sad for those who can't accept that, most saddest people I think.
I'm not christian, or even religious, but from what I hear and know, God is suppose to love all his children, so I'm a bit irritatingly confused on that part.
I like to see both sides, and Yeah, I understand why they wouldn't accept it. We're humans, we judge, we hate, we do shit that others don't like, because we're fucking humans.
I just wanna say that I AM Straight and that I accept it all the way, -cough is a fujoshi cough cough- But Also because we are all human beings, we all have feelings. Just because one is homosexual does not mean, he or she is not human or can feel pain, hurt, sadness, and all those emotions.

I seriously hope you've found your happiness, and that you're finally living well. No one deserves to have to go through shit, but damn it's life! And it sucks!

And I know it may not be much, but you have so much support, starting from the comments, favorites, watches, views on DeviantART.
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Really thank you so much. You're the kind of person i wish we had more of. Cause I am really ticked at all the people out there that completely tear down and hate on someone they don't truly understand and know. =/ They're just a bunch of judgmental jerks. =/

But I have found love and I am happy now =3 So that goes to show that hate doesn't work. x3
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:iconminiisparkles:
MiniiSparkles Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yay, I'm happy for you thwn!:,]
It's my pleasure, really. It's not right and I just.. tend to go over extreme sometimes with my emotions, especially when something doesn't seem fair and right B|
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:iconmikrilla:
mikrilla Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
As I see you wrote this more than a year ago. So I hope you feel a lot better now. People can't hate you forever. If you had a good relationship with your family before you came out to them, I'm sure they will forgive you (or did they already forgive...?) I am not really religious, but I think that if God exists then He would never hate you just because of your sexual orientation. And people who does hate you, well... Don't listen to them. You can't ignore your family, they matter, but I'm sure hey won't hate you forever. My girlfriend (well, I'm bisexual but I like a girl now) is really afraid of homophobia. And it makes a lot of things really bad. Don't be like that. This would just ruin a lot of good moments. It's possible to take things easily. If someone calls you by names just laugh or answer to his/her insults kindly. :) It can work well. Killing yourself and hating yourself is not an option. Accepting yourself is a really brave thing. I hope that you was able to do this since you've posted this. It wasn't really hard for me to accept my situation, but I still haven't told my parents, just to a few friends. But it doesn't matter. So. All I wanted to tell you is that try to be happy because that's a thing that really matters in life. :)
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
No, you're absolutely right! And actually, since this last year, I have a girlfriend now and her and I are really happy together and nothing will change that. I am now fully out to everyone and I am very much proud of myself. My family and I still don't talk, but I know they won't change how they feel. It's just how they are. But I can accept that because i love my girlfriend and i want to be with her. That being said i am going to fight for myself and not like anyone stop me and change my opinion. Thank you so very much!

Oh wow, so no one knows that you're bi right now? Well that's okay anyway. I mean, I really only started coming out to everyone a few months ago. And I still can't flat out tell my friends in the past I am lesbian. I tell every new person i meet I am a lesbian, but it is still not the easiest thing.

But you have a girlfriend right now? How long have you two been together?

Yea, I am sure it will be hard on her....you really have to like....convince yourself that your freedom of choice is more important than what others think and that is very hard.
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:iconmikrilla:
mikrilla Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
I'm really glad that you're happy with your girlfriend and that you were able to talk about yourself to your friends. :) You can do nothing with your family to talk to you again now, but with time, it might change. You're still their daughter, they'll realize once that they made a terrible mistake. At least I really hope so. And I really hope that things will work out well for you too. Relationships can be pretty messy sometimes. :giggle: But well. In the USA homosexuals have more rights then in my country. You can adopt kids later, get married, etc. :meow: So don't be sad! It will be OK. :)
About me. Well. I was barely interested in love when I was younger. I had some crushes, but it was nothing serious. They all were boys. But then I realized that the reason I was never truly interested in guys was that I was afraid that if I started to check guys out, I might start checking the same sex out too. :giggle: How stupid of me for not realizing this for years. Gosh, I'm 19 years old now. :XD: I met a really cute girl one and half a year ago and I immediately liked her. I wasn't in love, but I found her pretty attractive. I knew she had a girlfriend before, but since her parents are pretty homophobes and I am not too beautiful to be interested in, plus she was with a boy that time, I just wanted to be her friend and hoped that I would never really fall for her. I did, but it was after we first kissed. :D This was in May. So we can say that I have a girlfriend for 7 months now. But the truth is that it took her ages to accept that she ended up again with a female, so let's say that we are together truly for 3-4 months. We still have some bad times because we have to hide our feelings. I am freaked out when she's here and my parents are at home too and she is freaked out everytime someone sees us. It took her months to let me touch her hand in public. So it's a messy situation. But she starts to get more accepting. I cannot truly blame her. She is still young (17) and goes to high school. It's harder there. High school kids are lot meaner than the ones in college.
That's why I have never told this to my parents. She is afraid of telling this to anyone and I find useless talking about this until our relationship is serious. But I told it to some friends of mine who are bisexuals too (it was a surprise, all of my good girl friends turned out to be bi, but we never talked about this before. :D) and to two boys from my university. One of them is a really good friend and the other one is a boy who I kind of like and I had the feeling that it's mutual. So I told him that I have someone and that it's a girl because I started to act a bit foolishly when I was around him and I was afriad of liking him more than I should... I didn't want him to ask me out or something, because I like him, but I'm in love with my girlfriend and a boy would just mess up everything now. He became a really good friend of mine recently though. He helps me a lot. And would never start dating a girl who is in a relationship. :D
So being bi is even worse (at least in my opinion :D) than being gay; sometimes I just wish I only liked one sex, no matter which one. :D Possibly I could tell myself to forget about girls. but I don't want to. It would be easier, but that's who I am. I don't want to lie to myself. I am just afraid of coming out to everyone. Because straights don't understand bis and the same goes for gays. And being called a slut is not nice at all. Because that's what people usually think of when they hear the word "bisexual". And my parents would freak out. A lot. But I will tell them. I just still have to wait and see whether my girlfriend will really able to accept this, or not.
Oooh, sorry. I wrote you a lot. O.O I really don't know when to shut up.
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:iconavataraang17:
avataraang17 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012  Hobbyist
I'm not gay, so I really don't know what it feels like being gay and a Christian, but I know it must be hard with many people who judge you and try to tell you what's right and what's not. I am a Christian though, and I know that everyone is equal. I'm not gonna hate anyone for being LGBT, and believe it or not, my lesbian friends are the ones who give me the most girl advice. And they think I'm feminine for some reason (lol I guess I am) But I'm just saying, that I'm there for you, and I'm not gonna judge you, you're a great person. God knows that, and so do I. :) (Sorry for writing this huge paragraph comment..)
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:iconwayleen:
Wayleen Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012
Wtf ! Reading this, I feel so bad for you being a lesbian and living in the States! :/ I'm French and here, we're very secular and all. You may find that it sucks because, well, really, God is not a big deal here. I mean, people any age believe (although, I think atheists are starting to be numerous) but what I like about France is that they keep their faith, their beliefs for themselves (most of the time, except for the assholes) and will not judge someone about homosexuality. In any case, I have several gay friends and they have been mocked but NEVER had anyone told them they would be going to Hell or anything. We don't even make the connection I think ! lol Because, as you said, it's just loving the same sex ! What's the big deal? And why does anybody care? I don't believe in God - sorry - but I think that if He exists, he does not care, I'm sure he has more important things to deal with (like Africa, or thousands of billions of people starving in the world -- God, if you're listening to me, I'm sending this up to you, man). Anyway, my message is starting to not make sense, lol, but all I meant to say is I feel for you. My American ex came from a very religious family (homeschooled and all) and his parents never wanted to meet me because I was living with their son without being married, I was French (Oh ! The Horror !) and I had blue hair (Oh! The Horror !) and I took it very personally. Isn't that awful to be judged when someone doesn't even know you? Coming from such a family is very hard as soon as you're a little bit different from what they expect -- my ex wanted to be a professional musician, something his parents were totally against :(. But I really admire that you stand up for yourself and have a girlfriend and all. But dudette, you gotta stop hating yourself. You made the right choice. You can't change yourself and being homosexual is settling in in our cultures now so hold on, it will get better ! Come and live in France ! haha. Plus, it must be even more awful, because if you want to die, this is also seen as a sin, so for you it must feel like there is no escape, right? But you don't need to escape ! We are not on Earth to be unhappy -- or so I see it. God or evolution or whatever gave us the great chance to be on Earth and we, coming from "rich" countries, we can do soooo many things we want to do and we have so many adventures to live, let's do it !

... Hum, reading this, I feel kind of ridiculous, seems like at the end, I should add : LET'S BRING 1789 BACK AND BEHEAD THE KING ! LOOOL anyway, hope you'll feel better... :)
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:iconwayleen:
Wayleen Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012
I forgot to say that, to me, real believers, believers that I really respect, are the ones who use their faith to bring more kindness to the world, who help people in need and who accept everyone, gay, lesbian or trans-gender or whatever. That, I admire. Because it shows that God isn't only a source of wars, rejection of other people's religions or opinions but really brings good things, like Mother Teresa. Too bad it's not more about it. Anyway, I'm not sure I expressed myself really clearly but whatever.
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:iconakodieon:
akodieon Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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:iconhypercupcakeonroblox:
HyperCupcakeOnROBLOX Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012
I may not know or really understand you, but after looking at a few of your pictures, I can say you're very beautiful and I believe that if something makes a person happy, then they should stick with it and not listen to any haters. I'd like to see more pictures from you c:
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:iconjumprunduck:
JumpRunDuck Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
As in me being one of the ones that don't want you to die.
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Omg ;; well I don't want to die. I mean, I had my days but I am doing a lot better now.

And you know what..? it means the world to me to know you look up to me. I feel like i am alone on this matter and just one person looking up to me makes me feel like for once I am doing something right, so thank you so much! <3
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:iconjumprunduck:
JumpRunDuck Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I could never understand what you're going through but I want you to know that I think you're one of the most courageous people I've ever heard of. Not all Cristians or Catholics think people like you should go die. Me being one of 'em. Never ever think you're a horrible person for who you love. Some of the nicest people I've met are gay so I dont have a bad opinion about em. I really think no one should. Never think you're wrong. You most certainly are not. I may never really understand you but that wont stop me from looking up to you.
From
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:icondeaththegirl-888:
DeathTheGirl-888 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2012  Student General Artist
Okay, I am a Buddhist so you may not understand or respect my views, but I truthfully look up to you. I truthfully admire your courage and willingness to try and make the Haters understand. I think that the emotional torture you go through is UNACCEPTABLE. I still don't know my sexual orientation, so I guess I could be classified as Bi. My best friend is gay and he goes through a LOT. He has been turned down by so many guys and I fear he may try to take his life. But I hope that both you and him can be strong and resist it. I used to be a cutter because I felt that nobody, NOBODY understood me. In fact I still think so.
Buddha once said that to reach enlightenment, you must treat everybody as your equal. Think of those words and then think of the haters out there. What are they accomplishing? You are bigger than that-I beleive in you.
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:iconanahimeuzumaki:
anahimeuzumaki Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
So, I don't know you, but reading this makes me relate to it. First of all, you should be proud you had the courage to come out to your family. I have yet to come out to my family. I'm bisexual, so that can be especially hard because people just label us as whores. But, it bothers me when people just say that Christians all are hostile towards gays. I'm Catholic, and obviously I have nothing against gays, and many others are like this. Christians that publicly hate on gays create a bad image for Christians who support us. I mean, if someone has a problem with who I am, then they should keep it to them self, because I don't want to hear it. Also, what you said, "I keep trying to paint a canvas for you to see, but all you can do is burn it to the ground before you ever take a single glance at it." That is really deep, and probably one of my favorite quotes. Lastly, I just want you to know that, even though you don't know me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Please, just know you're not alone.
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Wow thank you. ;^; I understand what you say completely. I am Christian and yet I have so many other Christians say I am not worthy of the title and that I am a sham of a Christian. I could go on for a long time about all the crap that has been said. But anyway, I think that most Christians only think so badly of gays because we don't seem to fit in their circle of 'God' But they judge us only because we are considered sinful. Dx I dunno....that is what I think. My mom says she loves gay people, but hates their 'sin' o.o Who knows. Dx

Yea, that line....it was always something important to me that I was trying to do. Dx Oh well.

Thank you...I am so thankful I am not alone. <3
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:iconheartdiver123:
heartdiver123 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Sweetheart, I don't know you, but I love you, and I'll pray for you. I'm sorry that Christians have been cornering and treating you like this, but don't try to change yourself. It's not your fault. Don't let people tell you that it is, because it ISN'T. It's never been your fault. God wanted you to be like this, and He's going to take you and make you to be something great. Just trust in Him, and everything'll turn out alright.

If you need someone to talk to (I know you don't know me), I'm here. You can send me a quick note, and I'll help to the best of my ability. You're beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're gorgeous.
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
People like you make me cry because you're beautiful inside and out. It really means a lot to me because I am not someone you know in real life yet you still love me and want to help me. >.< Thank you dearly. I am doing a bit better since when i wrote this, I still have my bad days, but since I have had so many amazing friends, it has been better!
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:iconheartdiver123:
heartdiver123 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well, I'm incredibly glad to hear that you're doing better-- and of course I love you. You're my sister in Humanity. But seriously, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll talk.
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:icongimmesomesushi:
gimmesomesushi Featured By Owner May 28, 2012  Student General Artist
Just stumbled upon this, and wanted to say this in response to what people say about the inability for lesbians to support families(which is a statement based upon absolutely no factual evidence):
I know three extraordinarily kind and intelligent people with two moms, and one with two dads. I know many hateful, ignorant people with heterosexual parents. Straight people can, of course, be good parents. I don't, however, think hateful people can be.
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I agree with you. ^^ It doesn't matter what gender you are or what you like. I think that love is love no matter what and haters need to stop hating. Dx I guess that might sound cliche, but so true.
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:icongimmesomesushi:
gimmesomesushi Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012  Student General Artist
indeed.
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:icongatitaz:
GatitaZ Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I probably don't have anything to say that hasn't already been said, but I'll try anyway.
Honey, you shouldn't be apologizing to anyone, they should be on their hands and nees in the cold mud, BEGGING you to forgive then. and I will always stand by that. I see all the Christians that go all out on Gay people, and I see then turn God into a thing of hate instead of love. And love is supposed to be what God is about. If any God made Homosexuals to test anybody, it wasn't the Homosexuals he wanted to test, but the rest of society. I hope life has gotten, and will continue to get better for you.
:heart:
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner May 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you ;w; you're so kind.

I dunno because imo I think I am in the wrong because my actions have hurt people. Although I am so confused about everything I don't know who to blame. I don't think we need to blame anyone.
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:icongatitaz:
GatitaZ Featured By Owner May 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Perhaps not. It would be best if we did not have too.
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:iconmiss-tao-luath:
miss-Tao-Luath Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't think you should ever regret posting this, darling. Everything you've said has struck a chord with me. I'm not gay, I'm pansexual, but I understand so much of where you're coming from. I've tried several times to come out to my mom, but she tells me that I'm not like that and that it's all because of TV and the internet. It bothers me to no end when people do not have the common decency to stop and listen to what is coming out of another person's mouth at that time. I believe that God loves you. I think that He loves us all. These 'prophetic' assholes going around telling everyone that they're going to burn in hell for loving, they haven't the slightest what they are saying. I do not believe you will burn in hell for loving. As long as you believe in God and love him, I think he loves you and believes in you too. Belief isn't near as important as believing in that thing. I also read your 'Gay Rights' deviation. You are officially an amazing person (as if you weren't already). You mentioned feeling enough identified with boys that you were your own 'gender classification'. That is always how I felt when I was a child as well. I still feel that way, in fact. I identify now as genderqueer. So many things you're saying just have this utterly impossible effect on me. No matter what anyone else tells you, I want you to know that you are an amazing person. Haters WILL hate, but screw them. If sexuality is the only thing they got on you? You're as good as golden. A wise person once told me, 'Don't let them break you, honey. You're stronger than that.' I want you to keep that in mind. Chin up, lovely. (I hope I'm not blabbering, though I know I am. It's inevitable.)


Love always,

Tao
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Tao, wow, seriously, your comment has made me almost cry. ;^; you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you like my opinions and that it means something to you. I guess I never thought I - one person could impact another. I never thought my opinion matters and to know you're standing by and listening makes me really excited and happy, so thank you a lot. ^^ Haters are going to hate no matter what I do or say, but at least I will have people like you by my side to help and support me. =D You're seriously an amazing human being yourself. Thank you for spending the time to comment and share your thoughts.

Yea, well in today's world it seems like there is a lot of hate and then on the upside a lot of love. The only thing that sucks is that the hate usually goes WAYYY too far and it can in dreadfully for the person being hated on.

Although, you're a strong human being. You said you're genderqueer, right? What does that mean anyway?
And if your mom isn't accepting of you, all you can do is keep trying with her, but keep in mind that might take her a long while to accept you. My mom still doesn't accept me, but she loves me and knowing that makes me feel a little bit better about everything. =D

Also, having your comment has made my day better, so...thank you, Tao~
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:iconmiss-tao-luath:
miss-Tao-Luath Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Of course, my dear. People need to stick together and be there for each other. Everyone needs a little support. (:

Genderqueer is sometimes also called gender-fluidity. Depends on the person. It pretty much sums up to where you don't feel that you are one pin-pointed gender. You're a little bit of both. Not transgender, and not...straight-gender, I suppose. Just...gender. Yeah. That's not the best explanation, so I hope it makes some sense in the least.

I just hope that someday my mother and I can see eye-to-eye on the matter. Then I'll get around to telling my father. At least my friends have been okay. :)

I'm glad to hear that I made your day better. Any time, dear!
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:iconmypassion2497:
MyPassion2497 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2012
I love this, and I totally understand you.
I am gay too, and I am Christian (how the hell should I write this? Sorry, I'm not English!), and I totally HATE people who say "Being gay and christian is like being jew and nazi"... I mean, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TELL ME THIS? You're not me, you can't even understand what the devil I think. I hate it, I hate it, and I will always hate it, because the whole world wants to tell me what's right and what's wrong.
Don't give up on your life, don't ever give up on your life, because there will always be something worth fighting for, even you don't see it. It may seem horrible and everything, but you will always have... well, you.
So really, believe me, you're FUCKING PERFECT. Maybe you've listened Lady Gaga's song "Born this way", remember what it says? "I'm beautiful in my way, because God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way". Well, you're beautiful, and you will always be.
I understand you and I send you a lot of love (this will please you, I am a girl! xD), and I wish all the best for you.
Looooooooooooots of love,
Arianna
P.S. Please, please, PLEASE! Forgive my bad english. As I said before, I'm not English, and I've still got a lot of things to learn! I hope you will understand what I wrote! ;)
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Wow....your comment...it blew me away. I am glad to have people like you have the same opinion as me. People will say countless times how you can't be gay and a Christian yet I know there are gay Christians out there. I am just happy that you can come to me and tell me your story, too. Gosh it means a great deal to me, so thank you so much.

I agree, don't give up on life because it was a gift from God and it is so important. We can make a difference after all ^^
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:iconmypassion2497:
MyPassion2497 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2012
I love this, and I totally understand you.
I am gay too, and I am Christian (how the hell should I write this? Sorry, I'm not English!), and I totally HATE people who say "Being gay and christian is like being jew and nazi"... I mean, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TELL ME THIS? You're not me, you can't even understand what the devil I think. I hate it, I hate it, and I will always hate it, because the whole world wants to tell me what's right and what's wrong.
Don't give up on your life, don't ever give up on your life, because there will always be something worth fighting for, even you don't see it. It may seem horrible and everything, but you will always have... well, you.
So really, believe me, you're FUCKING PERFECT. Maybe you've listened Lady Gaga's song "Born this way", remember what it says? "I'm beautiful in my way, because God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way". Well, you're beautiful, and you will always be.
I understand you and I send you a lot of love (this will please you, I am a girl! xD), and I wish all the best for you.
Looooooooooooots of love,
Arianna
P.S. Please, please, PLEASE! Forgive my bad english. As I said before, I'm not English, and I've still got a lot of things to learn! I hope you will understand what I wrote! ;)
Reply
:iconmypassion2497:
MyPassion2497 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2012
I love this, and I totally understand you.
I am gay too, and I am Christian (how the hell should I write this? Sorry, I'm not English!), and I totally HATE people who say "Being gay and christian is like being jew and nazi"... I mean, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TELL ME THIS? You're not me, you can't even understand what the devil I think. I hate it, I hate it, and I will always hate it, because the whole world wants to tell me what's right and what's wrong.
Don't give up on your life, don't ever give up on your life, because there will always be something worth fighting for, even you don't see it. It may seem horrible and everything, but you will always have... well, you.
So really, believe me, you're FUCKING PERFECT. Maybe you've listened Lady Gaga's song "Born this way", remember what it says? "I'm beautiful in my way, because God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way". Well, you're beautiful, and you will always be.
I understand you and I send you a lot of love (this will please you, I am a girl! xD), and I wish all the best for you.
Looooooooooooots of love,
Arianna
P.S. Please, please, PLEASE! Forgive my bad english. As I said before, I'm not English, and I've still got a lot of things to learn! I hope you will understand what I wrote! ;)
Reply
:iconibinked:
IBinked Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I.LOVE.THIS.
I love this even more than Your Attachment - and hun, that is SCREAMING something ;)
I used to think that the world was full of insane, hateful people. Then I discovered this and many other websites with people like you on it that just absolutely SCREAMED love and acceptance :D I have discovered that sometimes the world might be insane, but there is goodness behind it somewhere!
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Wow...that means a lot to me.. ;; I am glad you like it...even if it is a bit...err...crazy xD I guess I spoke my heart on this one n.n I am SOO happy you like it!
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:iconibinked:
IBinked Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Speaking your heart makes your pieces beautiful :) And I don't like it - I LOVE it!! <3
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:iconbrightandcloudy:
BrightandCloudy Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2012
Can I tell you that you are just amazing? Cause it's true, you are. You're beautiful and brave and have many good things to say even when things get hard for you. I'm only fourteen and I haven't experienced any relationships yet, but I'm beginning to think that I'm a lesbian. My parents are fine with it, they could care less, but one of the closest people, who took care of me for 12 years while my mom was away, is against homosexuality. I grew up thinking that homosexuality was evil and God would hate you for it, but once I moved in with my mom, and I began to experience the outside world, I began to realize that even though I'd been taught that way, I was still different. I'm afraid that she's gonna tell me that I'm not and try to scare me out of it. It makes me really upset, and after reading what you've said I'm thinking that I need to fix my relationship with God and ask him to help me with this. You're very inspiring and I'll always look up to you :)
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Oh wow ;^; I have no idea what to say....you...you're so kind Dx Gosh thank you!

I wish you good luck! I know it can be rough, trust me....it sucks some days, but you can get through it. ;;

Thank you soo much for your comment <3
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:iconkowashikowashi:
KowashiKowashi Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011
You are such a brave,amazing girl.You Are so AWESOME. Many of my friends do not get why im gay. Even though I do not know who you are, I would love to be your friend.
Reply
:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Oh well, we should totally be friends then! I would love that sooo much :3

Haha you're awesome <33
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:iconkowashikowashi:
KowashiKowashi Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2011
so sorry for late reply have not been on account for a while
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:iconrosethornsofthevine:
RoseThornsoftheVine Featured By Owner May 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
you are brave
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:iconrosethornsofthevine:
RoseThornsoftheVine Featured By Owner May 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You wont roast in hell. its not a sin. God made you and belive me he hadnt made any mistakes sweethart
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:iconkowashikowashi:
KowashiKowashi Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2011
ok
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:iconlove-undefined:
Love-Undefined Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I love how brave you are to post this. Sometimes you just have to ay something. As a lesbian, i know this is a big and sensitive subject. I dont believe that we are wrong. I believe that we love and that, to me, is all i need to know. This is beautiful.
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Oh thank you a lot. ;; You comment really means a lot to me. I agree totally with you. If someone doesn't like gay/lesbians then it is like them saying they don't believe in love. Love is love and that is all there is to it x3
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