Once upon a time I wanted to die
I would hide in my room and cry and cry
No one ever noticed and no one would ask
And if they ever did I would put on a mask
It started a few years back when they got a divorce
My parents did split with both yelling and force
I was left alone and told to go play
But how could I lie and tell them okay
I was only a child, but not anymore
The year I was four is no more
Now I am considered a beautiful young lady
But looking in the mirror I no longer see Katie
What I see is the scars left behind
From a girl once little, perfect, and kind
I fight with myself every single day
I cannot win, and my body’s gone astray
When did I start cutting? I said I never will
When did I start cursing? Or start popping pills?
I must have stopped eating or something else is wrong
Dear God please can you help me, where do I belong?
My ribs jut from my waist
And is that blood I taste?
How do they not notice? Why do they look away?
Why do I always smile and tell them I’m okay
‘Cause the truth is that I lie; I do it every day
I can’t keep going on, is the prayer that I pray
My friends say I am pretty, but that’s not what I see
Instead I see a dying girl in broken tragedy
Who knows when I’ll die, damn I do not care
I will keep pretending and walking in despair
‘Cause when you lose yourself, that is when you die
So never let go of yourself, never say goodbye