Digital CameraIn this digital screen
Is a picture of your face
You look so pretty and happy
Forever and always
I click the arrow over
And the camera shows a slide
It’s you and me together
But also that other guy
He always made me angry
I never liked him around
I screamed and fought with you
Which only brought us down
The photo changes again
But this time only us
We’re holding hands together
In the park out by the bus
I remember that night clearly
And the picture changed once more
It was like it was yesterday
That I found you on the floor
I screamed out your name
And tried to find my phone
But my hands were shaking badly
And I felt completely alone
The picture on the screen
Was of your grave
There were flowers and were people
And the memories in my brain
How could I not see
That you were never truly smiling
And that all along it was
Your hurt that you were piling
Maybe it was that guy
Or maybe it was me
Or maybe it was your job;
Perhaps your family
I glare into the screen
As a recording c
Disclaimer The opinions shared in this are my own.
If you don't like or don't agree then click the back button because I will tolerate none of that!
You say your life is falling to pieces
You say his doesn't matter, he is only a fetus
But once you make the choice to take his own life
You might as well stab him with the blade of a knife
'Cause he won't come back, he won't ever live
He won't learn to walk, to smile, or be active
He won't ever cry when he falls off his bike
He won't say, 'mommy, I love you, good night.'
That tiny little baby that you never knew
Will never have his hopes and wishes come true
He can't change the world or set things straight
He can't say he's sorry after he makes a mistake
No one can tell you what that boy can devise
Not from the tip of his nose or the gleam in his eye
Your unborn son is going to be so great
He's going to have lots of friends and go on many dates
His hair will be blonde with many curls
But don't be too mad whe
HUMANWe all have problems, it seems to be
We all want something we cannot see
We all feel like we're failures on the inside
But outwardly you hide it like it's some surprise
We look at the cutters like their a mess
They don't know what they want so we all digress
But a problem is a problem whether big or small
And sometimes it's not even a problem at all
Like the child who is crying over a broken toy
Or the little baby laughing who is filled with joy
The mother who lost her very first child
To the teenager who's careless and runs around wild
The world we live in is a crazy disaster
And we are the ones who is its ringmaster
So to those who destroy is and fill it with hate
Damn them to hell along with their mistakes
To the gays and trans and all in between
To the ones hurting and crying with pleas
Love who you want and never be fake
Don't listen to haters for goodness sake
Don't be too hard on yourself, you'll make mistakes
You'll fall in love and have your heart break
You'll have bad habits
POP!I cross my arms and take a sigh
I wish these hours would go by
One two three and then a pop
Oh my god, no, please stop
You look at me and give a smile
This is never going to be worth while
I hold my hand out for the gum
You shake your head and stick out your tongue
Three two one and then a pop
Listen now, you better stop!
I move one over from my seat
You move one closer right by me
You blow a bubble, I roll my eyes
You won't do it if you're wise
Took one quick second and another pop
I yelled out this has to stop!
I reached for the gum inside your mouth
You pull away and start to pout
Pop pop pop, ugh, not again
Give me the gum and let me win!
I nurse my temples on my head
And know my face is becoming red
My lips meet your's and then my tongue
I will get it, I'll find that gum!
My tongue takes wonder inside your mouth
I find the candy and my heart shouts
I start to chew what was your's
You glare at me down to my core
Then, I swallow, the gum is now gone
You knew this was coming all alon
AshiteruWhen I stopped breathing my heart went numb
And the waves of my heart began to drum
You would smile at me and I would slowly break down
It was only you and me and no one else around
My once fragile life burst into dust
Having you with me was always a must
Looking back at it now you took my breath from me
The first time you kissed me was a guarantee
It sent shivers down my body and rattled my spine
You branded me and owned me with your spark of design
And when you would sleep I'd still be awake
My nerves still shook and they continued to quake
You looked like an angel sent from above
No matter how cliché; it's what we call love
Admittingly I'll say that I soon became attached
I was quick to love you, our hearts matched
It scared me to think I was starting to let go
But it had to happen now, I had to foreshow
Now, don't get me wrong and don't think I'm insane
But my life wasn't perfect even with you in my brain
I still cried a lot and kept to my habits
But with you by my side we con
Once upon a tragedy
Once upon a time I wanted to die
I would hide in my room and cry and cry
No one ever noticed and no one would ask
And if they ever did I would put on a mask
It started a few years back when they got a divorce
My parents did split with both yelling and force
I was left alone and told to go play
But how could I lie and tell them okay
I was only a child, but not anymore
The year I was four is no more
Now I am considered a beautiful young lady
But looking in the mirror I no longer see Katie
What I see is the scars left behind
From a girl once little, perfect, and kind
I fight with myself every single day
I cannot win, and my body’s gone astray
When did I start cutting? I said I never will
When did I start cursing? Or start popping pills?
I must have stopped eating or something else is wrong
Dear God please can you help me, where do I belong?
My ribs jut from my waist
And is that blood I taste?
How do they not notice? Why do they look away?
Why do I always smile and tell them I’
Ciel - Light and Dark
Where were you when our hearts divided?
You said we’d always be united!
You were my breath into my mouth
The name I use to shout
But in your eyes is blood
Your sins over-flood
I struggle just to breathe
My skin tears beneath your teeth
I am your everlasting victim
Your DNA runs throughout my system
My body is completely yours
But this is what I endure
You’re the enigma in my life
Continuing to thrust the knife
I am dying with apathy eyes
I’ve been filled with filthy lies
For I am your entity
Your incessant chemistry
Bound by the lies in your veins
My existence is trapped in chains
But to you…I am your light
I’m what makes your heart ignite
I’m the antidote to your innocence
I am your very synthesis
You’re in forever stagnation
And I’m your only salvation
Trapped by innocent, trapped by pain
Trapped by torture you can’t sustain
We are a unity, we are one
The only something you can’t outrun
I am you and you are me
Innate for al
Your Attachment 12
This is chapter twelve. To view other chapters find the links below.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler and sadly never will. *cries in corner*
Title: Your Attachment
Rating: T / Pg-13
Summary: He needed me. As for myself? Well...I needed a lot of things. Too bad pretending to be a girl while also pretending to be Sebastian's girl friend weren't some of them.
Timeline: Actual universe. Also known as 21st century.
Warnings: Will eventually be yaoi! (Sorry mom.)
sorry for OOCness. I won't try to have it that way, but since it is AU it will have to be slightly OOC. Also, I will place warnings on the chapters that have yaoi, so don't worry. This chapter is yaoi free! 8D
Blindly For You
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler and sadly never will. *cries in corner*
Title: Blindly For You
Pairings: Sebastian/Ciel Light Yaoi
Rating: T / Pg-13
Summary: My name is Ciel Phantomhive and I am blind. it's not meant to be like this, not what I planned at all, i don't want to feel like this, so that makes it all your fault.
Timeline: Actual universe. Also known as 21st century.
Warnings: This is NOT SHOTA! Although it has mentions of love in it. There will be some sebaciel. ALSO IF YOU DON'T LIKE DO NOT READ! You're immature if you comment. There is a back button for a reason. Also, you will cry if you read this. Sorry.. =/ Lastly, there is a bit of cursing and I am also sorry if the characters are OOC. I tried my best!
If I Told You...If I told you; "I want you",
would it even change a thing?
If I told you; "I love you",
Would you think it's embarrassing?
If I told you; "I care for you",
Would you give me a second glance?
If I told you; "I loved you",
Would you give me a chance?
What if I told you that,
I was for you, and you for me?
What if i told you,
That you were my only?
What if I said, "I love you?"
I'm sorry, that's all I can do...
LoveIt's the song on the radio that reminds you of what you had and what you lost.
It's the smile that a baby gives when she is genuinely happy.
It's the sound of a laugh from someone who hasn't laughed in a long, long time.
It's the friend who still remembers you even if you call after fifteen years.
It's the last piece of chocolate saved for you in a box you thought was empty.
It's the gift that is exactly what you needed, when you needed it.
It's the two hour ride across town, just so she can see you before she leaves.
It's the dog who waits for you to come home, just to give you all the affection in the world.
It's the companionship one feels in silence when they have found their best friend.
It's the feeling of a warm blanket someone put on you after you fell asleep.
It's the boy who does the stupidest things in the world, just to see you laugh.
It's the girl who kisses you the way she has never ever kissed anyone before.
It's the woman who gives up her seat on the train to the old la
Loving the way time moves
Enjoying such relevance
Occupied in ones mind
Trapped like a caged bird
Running in and out of reality
Starring into grey skies
Hopping the clouds will cry with me
I wish for your love
As do you wish for two hearts
Plagued with you in my soul
I don"t ever want your departure
Carry me off to bed
And lay besides me like a dream
Show me how to live in this world
Let me fix your broken heart
I want my mind to run free
Soar to the stars with my thoughts
Bare angel wings where heaven can look upon me
Or let hell's fiery grip drag me down
Whatever this world holds i hope
I hope there is a place for me
Unlike so many others think i deserve
Balance me with love
And shower me in care
But never cascade your hate down upon me
No one understands me as I fall to the ground
My heart is breaking with each thump and each pound
It all started back when my life was so great
I had the one I loved and I made no mistakes
But once it all shattered I fell to the floor
And I did not regret all I wanted was more
The pain that I craved was beginning to be
Everything that made me feel free
My head was spinning and I felt like a mess
I wanted to sleep and felt more than less
The bones that would jut from the cave of my waist
Was almost as bad as the blood I could taste
My knuckles were raw and my throat was soar
What was I even living for?
I always felt dizzy and wanted to cry
And I even remember wanting to die
My life was broken, my breathing was patterned
Sadly I had nothing left in my life that mattered
Tears streamed down my pale, white cheeks
And the blood on my lips began to reek
Eyes so blue are black, dark holes
I lost the connection of my soul
But as I lose myself and watch it drain
There is another mark on my hear
You are the Sunlight
It started off like this
When I gave you that first kiss
It took you by surprise
And made me close my eyes
I won’t lie, I was scared
As you stopped and stared
I couldn’t even breathe
But then you kissed me
It shattered all our fear
And made our love clear
My feelings only grew
But inside I always knew
The time you fell from the swing
From the first time I heard you sing
The first time you held my hand
I was so nervous I couldn’t stand
Even though I can’t cook
You still give me that look
My hearts melts every time
Reminding me how you’re mine
You’re the ending to my story
And the happiness that I keep
My life is never boring
And why I’m peaceful as I sleep
I love you with all my might
I love you with my entire soul
You’re the love that’s always right
And the love I can’t control
You’re the reason why I fight
You’re the reason for my laughter
You’re the everlasting light
You’re my happily
Remember the Angel?
Remember the angel that wiped your tears and made you brightly smile?
You always told her to let you be; you were always in denial.
Remember the angel that sang you to sleep and played with your hair?
You never cared to have her near you, though that smile was still there
Remember the angel that waited for you, the one who waited countless hours?
You never seemed to even notice, I guess that was your power
Remember the angel that saved your life, risking also her own?
You ran away and left her there, you left her there alone
Remember the angel that fell from heaven, only to be with you?
You marked her with your sin and made her feel brand new
Remember the angel with crystal eyes and long white hair let down?
You see how she feels alone; do you see that awful frown?
Remember the angel, please remember her now, can't you feel her love?
All of that was only for you , sent from above
Remember the angel, don't you remember the angel,
Inside Out"I think I wear my soul inside out."
"My soul. It's inside out."
"That's a strange thing to say."
"I have all the symptoms though."
"And what are the symptoms of this disea-"
"It's not a disease."
"All right. What are the symptoms, then?"
"I care too much about all the wrong things, I worry about odd things, my heart breaks too easily and my brain feels a little too asymmetrical to the things that are supposed to be fun."
"You know parties and alcohol and normal things. Like that."
"Nothing. What do you care too much about?"
"Everything. Global warming. The whales. Aliens. Israel. Sarajevo. The Ozone-"
"I get it. Everything that counts and you can do nothing about by yourself."
"You sound cynical."
"You sound paranoid."
"It's just honest. What worries you?"
"The fact that you are too self involved to notice."
"If I disappear."
"You idiot. Ofcourse I will notice if you disappear. I'd not
Emotionless KissIt's not like I can even fight it so why do I still attempt..
To drag myself out of my self created lament..?
I tried to make things right but I can't force out your repent...
You're standing right next to me so why do you feel so distant?!
I only wish
To take your hand
Pull you in close
And do everything that I can
To keep you
I wanted to make you mine
Though I waited and waited
You never gave me a sign
It's not like I try to hide it so why is it that you ignore me?
I've got no one to confide in and you won't even reassure me...
Maybe when I'm gone you'll finally start missing me...
It's strange that when I'm dead how you'll finally start listening..
And I hope
That you're happy with this
We can try to save ourselves
With an emotionless kiss
But it's too late
You've missed your chance
Let your love die
And lost out on our romance
I really wish that you could hear me as I'm crying out in pain..
But in this blanketing darkness nothing ever will look the same...
You don't talk to me
I thought that you said,
No matter what happens,
we'll always be friends.
You're going to let this
stand in the way of our friendship?
What the hell?
It looks like I misjudged you.
But I can't say
that you don't have an excuse
for your actions.
You said that you loved me.
I said that I could not return your feelings.
Wouldn't it have been
more hurtful if I lied
and told you I loved you back?
there was some way
to soften the blow.
And I was too much of an idiot
to know how.
Do you blame me?
I'm sorry, I really am.
But you were the first person
who ever told me that.
I just didn't know how to react.
I'm so sorry.
You must be hurting
so much right now.
And me, near you
that would probably bring you more pain.
So I'll just stay away
and hope that one day,
we can smile at each other
like we did before.
Heartbreak MasqueradeI can't remember what it feels like to be happy...
My smile no longer shrouded in sincerity.
It is like a heartbreak masquerade, fooling everyone;
Exhausted, I remove my mask when the day is done.
I'm a professional at what I do: I hide what I feel -
When I get hurt, I pretend like it is no big deal.
In reality, it's killing me; feel my heart breaking
The sad part? My friends don't know that I'm faking.
I can't remember the sound of my laughter any more;
Feels odd when I smile, like I've never done it before.
My heart soaring with joy - well, that feeling is gone
Dreaming about another guy that isn't you feels wrong.
It is like I am cursed, you never leave my mind
However, you - you didn't pause, just left me behind.
It feels wrong to see you and still feel butterflies
My heart still racing when I look into your eyes.
My head keeps spinning when you're in the vicinity
Even after all the feelings left, I can't feel happy.
I smile, not sincerely, but just to show you I'm fine,
promisedi wonder how my name tastes on your lips.
actually, I wonder about how your lips taste
but I can't get the answer to that.
not unless I wanted to wreck whatever was left of morality that lived in my life.
not unless I wanted you to be surprised.
and maybe surprise is a good thing, but not now.
because you're in love with someone else and that someone else has never been me.
and as much as I understand that,
i never will.
because she wrecked you and she might not have meant to,
to the way you look at me.
there will never be a clear-eyed smile from you,
never be a hug without a flinch,
be an assumption behind every "see you later".
really, I will see you.
if that matters.
Stand aloneA girl stands,
Alone and weak
As insults rain down
Across her rosy cheeks
Staining once pure skin
Is a knife to her heart.
Just kill yourself
No one would care
Silently she moves
Their taunting words
Haunting her every move
Where are you going?
Oh wait it doesn't matter
No one would love a bitch like you.
When she gets home,
Her mother doesn't ask
How she is
She goes to her room,
Cries more than she ever has before
And wishes for her life to end
As she falls asleep
She prays for some escape
From her personal hell.
Then she awakens the next day
To begin it all over again
Who would ever love a girl like her?
Tired.Most of the time, I am lying awake.
Though, I'd give
a n y t h i n g
just to sleep through
e v e r y t h i n g.
These things strap me down like anchors,
Or drag me out to sea.
Sometimes I show the world what leaves me
i n s p i r e d.
Paint on canvas,
Words in a notebook,
Or sometimes, just untouched works in my head.
Wading through the waters,
These burdens get the best of me.
Sometimes I think about the
p a s t ,
Though I'm always looking for the
f u t u r e .
You'll never know what I've been through.
The waters are rising,
I'm getting over my head.
Sometimes I like to grip onto my
m e m o r i e s .
Sometimes they're everything I'd rather
l o s e .
Sometimes I waste my days
t h i n k i n g ,
Even though I know I never deserved the shit she put me through.
Take in a breath,
There's not much time left.
Sometimes I think I'm not
g o o d e n o u g h .
Most of the time, I'm convinced.
Sometimes the words gnaw at my bones,
"You're not good
We Were Only PretendLook me in the eyes,
& Tell me the truth.
I'm sick of all the games,
& I'm tired of all the lies.
I know you're hiding something from me,
& I know that you don't want me.
So I don't see the point in staying,
Especially when I'm not worth your loving.
Don't make me promises you
Together.We face this world
Hand-in-hand, heart to beating, broken heart.
We face this world
With you, two faces never felt better.
Here he lies.Here lies the hypocrite,
shocked and ashamed at the next generation.
Saddened by their exploits, their debauchery,
Disgusted by their stupidity and judging their changes.
He stops, and thinks about himself.
One year ago.
What that person say to the one now?
Would he be surprised?
Would he be disappointed?
Would he be upset, confused, scared?
Without a doubt.
Here lies the hypocrite,
passing judgement till the cows come in.
BreatheWhen you're moving so fast, you never take time to stop and view your surroundings. The beauty passes by, but the pain tags along. It just takes a moment to slow your pace to a fast walk and peek at life. Because all too soon, everything that made you happy, will dissipate. You will be standing at the cliff edge, looking down and wondering why you chose a different path. And there is the urge at the back of your mind begging you to jump because your life is a living Hell.
This is yet another choice you have to make, another decision that will forever affect you, and the people you know. So you close your eyes and feel the cool breeze slide through your hair, and the warm grass tickles your feet. A slight sway overwhelms your body. Back and forth, side to side. Unaware of the life around you, it's almost peaceful . . . almost.
But a rush of memories comes flooding through your thoughts and in that split second you jump.
The thrill of falling is full of excitement and adrenal
Objects in Mirror are Closer than they Appear
Objects in Mirror are Closer than they Appear
I hated you; I loved you
I lay in bed with my eyes clamped shut
You left me here, but with what?
How could I let this love turn into hate?
I put you above even all my mistakes!
You tossed me aside, you gave me away
You lied to me daily without a word to say
How could I listen to all of your lies?
And now I just ask how come and why?
You could be standing right at my feet
And I would fall limp caught in defeat
How could I let you win over strength?
My heart's little wire only has so much length
Objects in mirrors can be so far away
But the truth of the mirror is what makes it okay
You can sit on the edge of a thousand foot cliff
And not be afraid, but just a bit stiff
People are like a tricky car mirror
The closer they get, the better it's clearer
But if you get too close they'll shatter the lies
So I'd advise you be careful and wise
You don't want to end up like that car over there