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May 4, 2011
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STOP! Before you read this fanfiction you should listen to Kelly Clarksons song Beautiful Disaster.  It will make this story SOO much better! =D


Disclaimer: I do NOT own Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler and sadly never will. *cries in corner*

Title: Beautiful Disaster

Pairings: Sebastian/Ciel (yaoi)

Rating:  T / Pg-13

Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance

Summary: I am a demon and my life revolves around devouring souls. However, soon I start to serve under a young boy, who not only smells like heaven and sin combined, but has the most broken soul that is the most beautiful disaster.

Timeline: Actual universe.  Also known as 21st century.

Warnings: Slight yaoi.  Nothing too bad. Slight OOC, too!(I tried my best for what I had to work with) and then is also slight fluff/angst.  o.o  Okay a lot of it. Sheesh.  *walks away*  Oh and one more thing.  There is also TWO parts to this story!  TWO parts! =D  Stay tuned for the second part!


-


My Beautiful Disaster

By Sasurealian

Part one



   "Ah, what a disaster.."  I sighed as I peered onto the mangled body before me.  There was certainly a lot of blood and the smell was delightful.  

Sad being.  
He is now empty without a soul.  Of course the penalty for making a contract with a demon is never seeing the gates of heaven.

Sad being indeed.

The moonlight shined within my crimson eyes and I smirked as I licked each one of my fingers.  The soul would fill me for enough time, but I'd soon have to find another.  One that will taste even better.

I let the darkness flow around me as I disappeared into the shadows.  Soon someone would find the disaster I left behind and who knows, maybe they'll be the next sad being to walk in my path, just adding to another soul I have devoured so deviously.




-


     "Sebastian!"  I paused and smiled as the young boy with silver hair jumped off the front steps and dashed into my arms.  I hugged him tightly and snickered, "My my, you sure seem optimistic today, young lord."

He nodded and with a grin, "Yea, that is because the doctors thinks my treatment is going to work!  Isn't that exciting?"

The young boy that was clinging into my arms was named Ciel.  He wasn't your average eight year old boy.  In fact, he looked at life with the glass half full instead of half empty.  He had a different life style than other boys his age.  He had parents who loved him very much, he was rich, and he was also diagnosed with leukemia less than a year ago.

"Oh, is that so?"  I asked raising an eyebrow, "When are you going to start taking it?"

Ciel sighed and looked down at his toes, "Momma says this summer, but it makes me sad because I'll be in bed sick while all the other kids get to go outside and have fun."

I tilted my head downward and lifted his chin up to face me, "Hey, don't do that."

Ciel blinked, "Do what?"

"Frown."  I answered, "You know that you're going to have to get better.  Once you're better you can do all the other things you friends can do."

Ciel let a tiny smile take over his face, "Okay, Sebastian.  But…"

I waited for him to continue, "But what?"

"But you have to stay with me this summer and keep me company, Sebastian!"

Which of course I did.  It was natural for a demon to sit beside a child's bedside and read silly stories to them.  It was natural for a demon to serve a child's favorites foods and watch TV for countless hours.  It was even natural for a demon to dote around a child doing anything in their wimp.  However, it was NEVER natural for a demon to do these things without a contract tied to them.  What would be the point?

Hell, I hadn't a clue, but some reason every day of Ciel's eighth summer I was there and for ideas unknown I enjoyed every bit of it.


-

It all started when I saw Ciel jump out of his car for school.  He dropped his work sheet and chased after it while the wind threatened to swallow it into the air.  Ciel screeched as he reached after it and I smirked once he caught it and then started to talk to it like the paper was a person and had done something wrong.

He wasn't like many other kids.  Then, once I found out he was sick, I became even more intrigued by him.  He usually didn't complain about being sick, but there were his bad days when he would see all the other kids playing and couldn't join them.

I soon was hired as his butler to watch over him and keep him from harm.  That was when he was seven years of age, but I still haven't made a bonding contract with him and I didn't know what was stopping me.

One afternoon when I picked him up from school he asked me a question I didn't feel like answering.  I didn't know how.

"Sebastian, why is it when my classmate Alois pushes me down or throws things at me I get hurt easier?"

Ciel didn't look at me when he asked the question and I smiled lightly before answering, "Well, you're just made with more heaven than he is."

It was true and it was also a lie.  I knew little about paradise except that it was perfect.  Ciel seemed perfect to me.  I didn't want to take that from him, but at the same time, my whole body craved for it from the tips of my toes to the buds on my tongue.

Ciel could only giggle, "Then I guess…you're like…my angel?"

But I didn't answer him.  Just took his hand and continued down the sidewalk.


-


    It wasn't until Ciel was eleven that his parents died.  I remember it so clearly as if it had happened yesterday.

I took Ciel to America to see a special doctor to see if he could help him.  It was beginning to become a huge failure because Ciel wasn't responding to the treatment.  I kept taking him to doctor after doctor.

Once we arrived back in London, I got a phone call that changed Ciel's life forever.

The following day was a day I could never forget.

It was dreadful.

It was sullen.

I walked into Ciel's room and pulled open the curtains, but no light drained into the room.  It was raining and the sky was unforgiving.

"My lord…"  I spoke as I knelt in front of his bed.

"Go away, Sebastian."

That was the first time his voice ever demanded me to do anything.  Before he would always ask gently, but his tone and his once angelic voice was beginning to slip away.  "My lord-"

"Don't you get it!"  Ciel snapped as he cut my sentence off.  He glared dangerously into my eyes and frowned, "They died!  They're gone and it was all because of me!"  Ciel took a deep breath and lowered his gaze, "If I stayed home instead of going to see another stupid doctor about my leukemia then I could have been able to see the fire.  I would have been able to tell them and get them out before….before.."

I grabbed Ciel's shoulder and made him face me, "That wasn't your fault, Ciel."

He shook his head and bit his lip to hide back his tears, "But it was.  If I wasn't sick then…I would have been here for them.  What use am I when I am so broken?  I might as well just die right now."

I almost slapped him; almost, "Ciel!"  I raged with narrowed eyes, "You shall not wish your own death.  What kind of man would you be then?"

I wasn't one to get angry, but Ciel wasn't like the other souls I had met.  Most humans were stupid and naïve.  It was as if they didn't use their brains at all.  They throw their life away too easily and the things they wish for are so pathetic and stupid.

"Sebastian…"  Ciel whispered as he leaned back on his bed, "No more treatment, okay?  It never works and….and I don't like how sick it makes me."

The change of subject shocked me.  His voice was back to its normalcy and I let him be as I bowed shortly and left the room.  To die was an awful thing to experience.

He drowns in his dreams, an exquisite extreme I know.....
He's as damned as he seems and more heaven than a heart could hold.

I shut the door and let him rest.  

And although I couldn't hear his tears, I knew they would be stained down his pale cheeks the next day.


-


     Ciel was twelve years old now.  He had continued on with life refusing anymore treatment.  I would try and talk him into trying it again, but he would snap at me and call it useless.

Was he truly going to accept death so easily?

The boy had changed since last year.  He wasn't as soft as he once was.  I began to think he was building his heart with hate, but who was I to understand a human's heart?


-

I stared over at Ciel as we sat in the ice cream shop.  I watched as he dropped his elbow on the table and leaned his head onto his palm sighing.  He dug his spoon around in his dessert without speaking a word to me.

I bore my eyes into him, but he wouldn't look up.   Why wouldn't he look at me?

"Ciel…"

"I thought it was lord?"  Ciel placed his spoon on the table and stood up from the table walking away.

I huffed standing from my seat, "Ciel."

But he was already outside the parlor.  Why was he doing this?

If I tried to save him….my whole world could cave in.  It just isn't right.

I should have treated Ciel like any other human.  Tear their insides out and drink their soul without a straw.  To have the rush of that sin is so lustful, but looking at Ciel, I couldn't see why I can't hurt him.  Why can't I just take him now?

To form a contract would destroy his faith, his beauty…..his eternity, but……what eternity do you have when you're verging death?

I walked outside the parlor and Ciel leaned against the side of the shop with his hands inside his khaki pants.

I pursed my lips together and walked towards him, "If all you were to me was my lord then I wouldn't still be here."

Ciel kept his cerulean eyes away from mine.  His face looked entirely stoic, but behind that façade were more emotions than a person could take.

Ciel wasn't what everyone thought he was.  Some people would describe him as a brat because he doesn't appear thankful for anything, but I know that he decides to keep his feelings bottled up because he knows he is going to die and why create bonds with people that you'll only know for a short time?

Then there is me.  I am different from anyone else he knows because I have been with him for almost half his life.  Ciel trusts me, but now he ignores me.  He acts arrogant and tough, but deep down he is as gentle as a feisty kitten feeling left out in the rain.  Except as he sits in that soaked cardboard box, he remains silent waiting for someone to take him home.  

"Ciel….my lord….you should go back home and rest."  I said as I moved closer towards him.

His eyes looked up into mine and his - once- ocean blue eyes were shot red with tears begging and pleading to be released, "Maybe Sebastian….maybe you shouldn't be more than my butler."

I knotted my brows at his statement and closed my eyes with a chuckle, "Stop acting on your own, Ciel.  Stop pretending that you can handle this all by yourself."  I inched forward and pulled him into my embrace, "You're not alone damnit."  I smiled firmly and looked into his eyes, "I told you I wouldn't leave you, remember?"

Ciel's lips eased apart as he studied my face.  It wasn't like me to react like I did, but it did the trick because he nodded and blushed walking ahead of me.

I don't know….I don't know what he is after, but….when I see him walking with that mask on his face with his elegant features and beautiful eyes, I know that he isn't a disaster.  He is a beautiful disaster.  I had never dealt with a beautiful disaster before.

Maybe if I can hold on through his tears and his lost laughter, then maybe it would  be a beautiful disaster…



-



    Ciel was in the hospital since last night.  He wasn't doing well and his blood cells were really screwed up due to what the doctor was saying, "It is really not looking so good for him.  He is going to start feeling more and more tired until he is so tired he'll fall asleep and never wake up."

I looked over at Ciel from my left.  A breathing tube was placed at the tip of his nose and his thin lips were chapped.  I gritted my teeth together, "Ah yes, thank you for the information."

The doctor walked away and I exhaled a breath as I sat next to Ciel.

I couldn't recall in all the thousand years I have been alive ever caring for something as low as a human.  They were only food to demons, but then….when I first saw him I wasn't just addicted to him.  I wanted him in my life.  

Being a demon was day to day the same routine.  It bored me and made life not seem worth it.  I would make a meaningless contract and quickly take their soul once their wish came true, but after I devoured the being I felt bored and lazy.  Souls didn't taste so heavenly anymore.

Women didn't excite me and the games demons played were annoying.  I went in search for another soul and once my eyes saw Ciel…how could I forgot that scent and that smile?

I bent over his bed and brushed my fingers through his silky hair.  His face was so pale and his lips were almost white.  He was losing his lush color.  

I bend over him and let my lips touch his ear, "Silly of me my lord.  Not even I can take your soul away because to you, it might be broken, but to me it is the most luscious soul of them all."

I pecked his forehead which made me feel slightly possessive afterwards.  I never looked at humans as mine if I wasn't eating them.

He's magic and myth and as strong as what I believe.

A tragedy with more damage than a soul should see.

And do I try to change him?

So hard not to blame him….



-


    Soon Ciel woke and he was already back home in his bed.  I decided to take him home and let him rest there instead of that hospital.  It was better for him this way.

He sat up and blinked the sleep out of his eyes.  I watched him curiously and once his eyes met mine I bowed.  Ciel didn't respond and I frowned, "My lord…?"

"You mean more to me right?"  Ciel asked wrapping his arms around his chilling body.  I noticed a bandage over his hand where an IV had penetrated his flesh.

"Of course."  I answered with another short bow.

Ciel furrowed his brows questionably, "Because why?  Because I am your master?"

I walked towards him deliriously and sat next to him on his bed, "You really don't see things in color do you?"

Ciel didn't respond.

It went silent and I continued to watch him as he stared into the bed sheets, "Sebastian, you do realize I am going to die soon?"  He looked up and reflected his cold eyes into mine, "And then what will you do?  I won't be here, so you should just leave alrea-"

I cut him short as I grabbed his hand and pulled him forward into my arms.  He fit like a puzzle piece, just perfectly in my embrace.  His body was cold and warm at the same time and I could hear his heart beating wilding within his chest.  He didn't move, but I could feel that he was tense, "S-Sebastian…"

"Listen to me!"  I began as I grabbed his attention, "You won't die and you won't give up!  You can't!"

Ciel went mute while his breathing softened,"Hold me tight…."  He spoke in a whisper barely audible.

I had never heard those words come out his mouth in all the years I knew him.  I could feel his rash breaths in my jacket and the way he trembled.

"Ciel, are you afraid?"  I asked as I pressed him deeper into my chest.

"Of course I am not afraid!"  He lifted his eyes to mine and I gave him a questioning look, "Then why are you crying?"

Ciel sighed closing his eyes and nuzzled his face into my jacket, "I can't tell you, idiot…"

The insult came out of his mouth sounding so sweet.  I smiled and played with his hair, "You don't want to tell me, but I am afraid I already know why."

Ciel shook his head, "You are mistaken.  You have no idea what I feel."

I pulled him onto my lap and he scoffed at me, "Stop becoming so attached to me!  Don't…don't you GET it?  People who die…they…they can't come back to life!"

"Then you don't die!"  I protested.

Ciel sighed deeply and leaned his head against my shoulder, "Your…so stupid.  I can't stop this.  I am hurting and I turn towards you because you're all I have left."

"I am a last resort?"  

Ciel bit his lip and curled his fingers into my palm, "I don't know.  How am I suppose to know?"

"You have a fever my lord.."  I said as I felt of his forehead.

Ciel raised his head and glared with teary eyes into my eyes, "Please don't call me lord anymore…not until I die."

I cocked an eye, "Is that an order?"

Ciel grabbed my face and leaned into my space shutting his eyes tightly.   His lips captured mine and I felt my body surge.  He tasted like what god called sin.  He was like heavens buds and his scent was perfect.  

He had no idea what he was doing by the way his lips closed tightly around mine.  I wrapped my hands around his waist and let my hand caress the side of his face, "Open your mouth."  I mumbled through his attempt of a kiss.

Ciel obeyed as his lips ease apart and I let my tongue wonder inside the cavern of his mouth.  So warm, sweet, and simple.

My heart began to shiver at his touch.  I didn't want Ciel to die.  The thought now stung my chest as I kissed him deeper.

Finally I pulled back and Ciel nodded while his lips trembled and tears clawed for release outside his orbed eyes, "That is an order, Sebastian."

"Just cry.."  I said as I engulfed him in my arms, "Stop acting so proud."

…and he cried….he cried without making a sound, but his tears were warm as they trailed down his cheeks and onto my hand.

Soon he fell asleep and I laid there with him clenching to me in my arms.  He was so tiny and frail…

'He nodded and with a grin, "Yea, that is because the doctors thinks my treatment is going to work!  Isn't that exciting?"'

I cursed under my breath at the back flash racing through my mind.  

I don't know what he is possibly after, but what I do know is that he is a beautiful disaster…


-

To Be Continued! -  Part two coming soon!

I DO NOT OWN THE PREVIEW PICTURE! I wish I could draw, but sadly I pretty much suck! XD

The art is by :iconangelskully: She is love~ =D

Part two:
[link]

Okay, so what to say? Uhh, sorry if you hate it. I know it is a bit OOC, but it has to be for my idea for this story. I am also a bit of an angst/drama person, so yea.

PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT I want to know what you think.

ALSO sorry for typos and grammar mistakes. I don't mean to have them. Ehe ^^;;

I hope you liked it so far. x3
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:iconhakuru15:
Hakuru15 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012  Student Artist
sooooo awesome!
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
8D thank youuu
Reply
:iconspazartist101:
spazartist101 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
*Q* I LOVES IT
Reply
:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Oh thank ya' =D
Reply
:iconspazartist101:
spazartist101 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
o oh you're welcome ^^
Reply
:iconswaggalatte:
swaggalatte Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's sooo good! I love it!
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
aww thank you ;;
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:iconswaggalatte:
swaggalatte Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome^^
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:iconibinked:
IBinked Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
EEEK SO SAD *runs to read part 2*
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:iconsasurealian:
Sasurealian Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
8D Daw thank you
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